


i've just seen a face (i can't forget the time or place)

by BookPirate



Series: i may be a mess but at least i'm a hot one [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Gender or Sex Swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 18:31:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4490211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookPirate/pseuds/BookPirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Smith tries to keep his life pretty uncomplicated, but some things are just out of his control, like this madwoman with a blue box.</p>
<p>Genderbent Doctor Who AU for a hot mess au prompt</p>
            </blockquote>





	i've just seen a face (i can't forget the time or place)

**Author's Note:**

> Second of five drabbles I did based on hot mess au prompts. The prompt for this one was : 'i found you sleeping on my balcony when i went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we’re eighteen floors up’ au

John Smith likes to think he’s a simple bloke. He doesn’t have many needs, lives in a flat that is a nice size for one person, and works a job that could be worse. Yes, it’s a little boring being the only employee under 50 in the flower shop, but he loves flowers and the boss is always letting him do crazy Mendel-style experiments with the stock she can’t sell. Not that those experiments ever amount to anything, but it’s something to do in the downtime.

He’s actually just opened the door to the roof of his building, which is where he keeps all of his plants (God knows he couldn’t stuff all 30+ of them in his flat), to check on said experiments when he notices what appears to be a blonde woman lying face first, snoring lightly in front of them.

He runs his hands through his hair as he debates on what to do. Does he wake her up? Maybe she got locked out? But he doesn’t recognize her shockingly yellow hair, and he’s lived in the building long enough that, even though it’s eighteen floors, he’d like to think he knows all of his neighbors by sight. Maybe one of the gaggle of students living on the 13th floor dyed her hair?

He is saved from further debate when the woman moans and flops onto her back, her baggy clothes getting bunched up. “Oof, my head…” she trails off, slinging an arm over her eyes.

He shuffles closer to her. Now he’s certain he doesn’t recognize this woman, who looks to be around his age, if he had to guess. He fidgets a moment longer before squatting down next to her. “Um, excuse me, miss?”

She sits upright so quickly he doesn’t have time to move out of the way. The end result is a smashing of skulls that leaves him dazed and confused, staring up at the morning sky.

“Sorry! So sorry!” Now it’s her that’s leaning over him, and he is fascinated with her eyes, now that he can see them. They are warm and brown, by all accounts pretty standard, but old. He can’t say exactly what about them is old, but they seem at odds with her youthful face. “You alright? By any chance have you seen a blue box? Says ‘police’ on it in big letters?”

“What?” A headache blooms behind his eyes and he shuts them. “Excuse me, but who are you? And why are you on my roof?”

“Oh goodness, is this your building? I’m so sorry, I hadn’t realized. I just sort of crash landed, I suppose. I was aiming for an abandoned building but suppose I missed. London’s a quite big city, y’know, relative to Earth. Quite small other places, though. But I suppose you wouldn’t know about that. Unless… what year is it? And what day? Those can be very important, too.”

She says all of this without taking a breath, and it’s enough to make him open his eyes again. “What?” he repeats dumbly.

She sighs and rocks back on her heels. “I must’ve hit you harder than I thought, sorry. New skull, and all that.” She chuckles as she raps on it, and then grasps the hair beneath it, eyes going wide in excitement. “Hair! I have hair! Brilliant, can’t believe I just noticed that. I was bald, you know, in the last body. It was awful, but I did manage to accessorize quite nicely. Completely knocked Michelangelo off his feet when he finally realized I was a woman!” She chuckles again. “You don’t happen to have a mirror, do you?”

“No,” he says shortly. He is now convinced this woman is deranged, and begins sitting up slowly.

“Oh! Here, let me help you up.” She yanks him to an upright position rather quickly. “Ooh, I’m strong.” She flexes her arms and watches the motion. “New muscles, too, I suppose.” She turns her eyes to him. “Now then, my good fellow, the date?”

His headache is only getting worse. “I don’t even know who you are!” Maybe this is all just a dream, he hopes. Prays.

She sighs again. “Answer for an answer?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m the Doctor.”

He waits a beat, but all she does is look at him expectantly. He frowns, “Just the Doctor? No actual name or anything like that? You’re technically trespassing, you know.”

She rolls her eyes. “Just the Doctor. Only name I’ve ever needed. And if you’re not going to give me the date I might as well try and find my TARDIS.”

He stands up as she does. “TARDIS?”

She shakes her finger at him. “Answer for an answer, and I gave you my name.”

“John Smith.” He holds out his hand.

“Nice to meet you, John Smith. Rather bland name.” She comments as she shakes his hand.

He bristles. “Really? Hadn’t noticed. Now, what’s a TARDIS?”

She smirks. “Ah, but I didn’t ask for your name, did I?”

He groans. “It’s May 16th, 2004.”

She beams at him, and he is blinded by the beauty of it. She is cute, he supposes, but beautiful when she smiles. Her eyes have crinkled up and she looks like an angel in disguise.

“Was that so hard?” she asks, knocking him out of his thoughts.

“TARDIS?” He ignores her question.

“I’ll tell you if you help me find it,” she promises, and then begins walking around the roof.

“How am I supposed to help you find it if I don’t even know what it is!” He yells frustratedly as she rounds the corner.

“Big! Blue! Box!” She yells back, and he swears he can hear her mutter under her breath about the stupidity of humans, whatever that’s supposed to mean.

He huffs and goes the opposite way, the way his plants are, on the west side of the roof. He is very close to phoning the police when he rounds the corner and sees it.

“Doctor? Over here!” he croaks out, not nearly loud enough, but he thinks he’s in shock, so he forgives himself.

It is very big, and very blue, and it does say ‘police’ on it, just like she said it would. It is also sitting right where his plants used to be. He thinks he should be upset about that, but right now he’s mostly just curious about how she got one of the police boxes from the ‘60s onto the roof.

“Ah! Baby!” she squeals as she rushes past him and hugs the box. “Thank you, John Smith!”

He just gapes at her.

She turns smiles again, and this time her tongue pokes out from the corner of it. “Box got your tongue?”

He shakes his head. “How? Why?” He can’t decide what question he wants to ask.

“Oh, that’s a very long story, and if it is indeed May, 2004, I should be off. Things to do, people to see, all that rot.” She strokes the front door, and pulls a key out of her pocket. “Farewell, John Smith.”

“Hang on!” He snaps out of his shock. “You promised you’d tell me what it is!”

She regards him carefully, sizing him up. After a silent moment or two, her shoulders relax. “You know what, it would be easier to just show you, because you’re never going to believe me otherwise.” She turns and puts the key into the lock. “TARDIS stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space.” The doors swing open (aren’t they pull doors, he thinks to himself), and she turns around once more to grasp his hand. It’s dark, but she quickly tugs him inside and shuts the doors behind him.

The lights come on with a hum, and his jaw drops. The Doctor runs up the steps to the center of whatever it is and drapes herself over it, cooing to the machinery.

His brain stops and starts again several more times before he tries forming words. “It’s… bigger on the inside?”

She glances over at him and laughs, brushing herself off as she stands up. “I get that quite a lot, actually. What do you think?”

“It’s beautiful,” he breathes, and it’s true. It’s otherworldly and scary, but beautiful and majestic. “Like a whale.”

“What?” She looks confused. “You’re not concussed, are you?” She turns quickly back to the center. “Don’t worry, baby, you’re not like a whale. Not at all.”

He shakes his head. “But what is it really? I don’t know what Time And Relative Dimension In Space means.”

She sighs. “Basically, it’s a time-traveling spaceship.”

“Spaceship?” His voice cracks.

She laughs again, and pats what he now figures is the console to the ship lovingly. “Most people get caught up on the first part.” She eyes him again. “John Smith,” she begins, as she turns and starts to walk down to where he’s standing near the doors, “for your help this morning, how would you like to go on an adventure? The adventure of a lifetime?”

“I would like that very much.” He’s beaming at her, and she returns it.

“Good.” She takes his hand and leads him to the console. “So, all of time and space. Where do you want to start?”


End file.
